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Do you have a nagging voice inside your head that tells you you’re not good enough, you don’t have a voice, and that everything is going to go wrong?
Welcome to the land of the inner critic! In this episode, you will discover the ways our inner critic holds us back, why we shouldn’t try to ‘overcome’ it, and how to make friends with in, in order to feel good about our success and achieve our desired goals.
Firstly, let’s learn to understand the inner critic a little better. This will allow us to make changes and feel more confident doing so.
Your inner critic is there to keep you safe:
Doing something new, working towards a big goal or putting ourselves ‘out there’ WILL create negative thoughts and feelings of unease. Our inner critic is simply trying to keep us safe from rejection and criticism.
For example, I’m writing a book at the moment, and my inner critic has been ramping up, saying:
You’re not as good as this other author.
You’re ideas aren’t unique, this has already been done.
Your writing is horrendous.
To my inner critic, if I release the book, I will be vulnerable and open to criticism and rejection, which will impact my self worth. So, my inner critic tries to stop me from writing the book – if I don’t release it, then I won’t get criticised. Safe and comfy!
Your inner critic will NEVER go away:
That’s part of being human. The reality is, the more you continue to push yourself out of your comfort zone, the stronger the inner critic will speak. And we ALL have it, even highly successful people.
I have a client who is at the executive level of a large Australian company, she is incredibly well respected, and she too has her inner critic telling her she’s not good enough and doesn’t deserve to be there. Looking at her, you would never guess she thinks that way about herself!
In fact, it could be argued the more successful you get and the bigger your ideas, the stronger the inner critic gets – because the stakes are higher.
Would you talk to another human the way your inner critic talks to you?
One of my favourite books is the untethered soul, by Michael Singer.
He likens our inner critic to an obnoxious, annoying roommate who sits next to us on the couch and follows us around everywhere, saying mean things about us.
He poses the question: how long would you last with a roommate like that? Not long! You would kick them out of the house! You would say: “Stop following me around! Go away! I don’t need you, you’re just making my life terrible! We’re done here, I’m finding a new roommate!”
You wouldn’t put up with a mean and harsh room mate would you? Yet many of us have an inner critic, living inside our heads, telling ourselves awfully mean things all the time. If your inner critic was a real person – would you want to hang out with them? Probably not!
Listen to the episode to hear HOW we can start to make friends with our inner critic and stop it holding us back once and for all.
Are you a passionate, driven leader and want to take your leadership and career to the next level, but…you’re struggling with your feelings of self doubt, anxiety and perfectionism?
If that sounds like you, and you’re ready to commit to making big changes and feeling good about your contribution and your level of success, then I invite you to apply for The C Method 1:1 Coaching Program.
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This is not for you if you just want a “couple of coaching session”, this is for you if you have a long-term approach to developing your confidence, communication and leadership skills and know that these skills are key to your overall success and happiness.
Click here to learn more and apply for the program. We will set up a discovery call where we will explore if working together is a good fit for us. The discovery call is free and there is no obligation to sign up for anything. I look forward to speaking with you!